You don’t look depressed

How often do we think that we KNOW how depression looks like? HOW OFTEN are we deceiving ourselves in thinking that it is not something we will experience? Or that we never experienced it ? How many times have you thought, its not a big deal, I need to stop being so emotional because someone might think I’m a freak ?

I don’t know about you , but i know that I have been rejecting even the idea of possibility for me to be even slightly depressed.

Depression should be visible! You are happy everyday! You smile ! You don’t make any drama ! What ? Depression? Nah stop that now ! It’s just a bad day . ..” how many times we hear that from someone or even we tell it to ourselves? I’m sure many more times than it is necessary.

I thought as well like many of the people I know , that I don’t even have a right to think, that at any point I could be depressed! ” because why?” You have no problems !how many of us heard it ? Sure millions! But no problem is too big or too small !

I have been checking my old photos , exactly from the last two years, also some videos , and maybe I wasn’t on some verge of depression. .. or maybe I actually was !

But let me tell you ,that what I have seen and heard ,was simply a cry for help , yet nobody heard me ! And somehow I shall say it passed ? How ? First I mediate daily and have my own daily routine which helps me a lot but just now I have come to the understanding that I did struggled a lot! But I was very good at hiding it. Nobody would ever say that I have any problems . Yet there was quite a few in that period of time.

So let’s just remember, Depression has many faces . On me I could see mainly smiling face with dead feeling inside . That’s probably why I hate looking back at the photos from the last two years….

We need to learn to feel and express ourselves more and more each day. I think that even now I’d benefit from going to the secluded place and just shout whatever I feel out loud. Let it leave my body, don’t let it weight me down .

I hope you all staying safe 💓

Love and courage ❤

H.

3 thoughts on “You don’t look depressed

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