Resistance πŸ«‚

Good afternoon 😊

Here comes another video , I really wish you a wonderful and peaceful day 😊

A lot has been going on in my life but all for the best .

Thursday Though

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I have finished writing my book and as soon as that has happened, I realised that this book is just short cut of the story . I tried to hide most of the things and basically make it seem like it was all good and there is actually nothing wrong with what has happened etc .

There was so many eye opening things, and the fact that I was trying to hide it , is even worse . I don’t plan to publish this version as it’s definitely not the story I’d like people to see. I want it to be raw and real , and exactly as it was , the the stuff that has happened and the issues, childhood trauma etc .

The book will be posted under pen name, i dont want to make anyone’s life hard whatsoever. I just want to put it out there without filter.

For others to know , they not alone . That society is what it is . For others to realise that everyone can heal as long as there is a will to do it. That life is not happening against us . It teaches us everyday, and it is up from us, whether we will learn the lesson on the first time or maybe we will have to go through the same stuff 20 times during our life .

Hope you all have a wonderful day 😊

Friday Feeling …

Yesterday I have had very lazy but somehow productive day … I still wonder , how the heck did I manage to do all I did , even though I had my sister over basically all day, since we were waiting for University to call in regards to her wanting to start studying Business degree.

Anyway I was a little blunt and I actually told her that I love being on my own . To which she of course got offended a bit ( I bet she just pretend ) she loves to make me feel guilty lol

Thank God it does not happen anymore . If I think im being honest ,then you have no choice but accept it and understand. I’m introvert and I simply love ME TIME ! Over anything!

Anyway it’s Friday and i plan to make the most of this weekend, I hope you will enjoy yourself , keep smiling and stay at peace 😊

Honorata.

How important it is to have a routine in our daily life?

Well I will be speaking mainly about the spiritual routine, as from experience I can tell that before it was nowhere to be found , and the road to understanding and change, seemed like impossibility .

Now however, I have a strong routine, which is followed by me every single day, and I already can see ,despite it being only 30 days , how life changing and eye opening it is.

When you learn , and do things for your own good day by day, you see how important it actually is for your own sake.

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I see many people calling themselves lazy or unmotivated etc but is it really that? I think, it’s not really the case .

The main problem with setting a routine for ourselves, whether it is daily life or spiritual or basically anything, is the fact that we have strong opposite beliefs regarding our ability and worthiness and deserving all what it can bring .

So I think what’s the most important at the beginning, is to start small , don’t put a lot on yourself , don’t judge yourself and do the best you can , and as many of you probably have read Four Agreements , you know that our best will vary at all times .

So take it slow and start today . Even if its something you might take as not such a life changing decision. That’s how you create the life , you want to live .

Peace and love x Honorata

First of all…..

Have you ever wondered how it would be to live a life , where you are truly happy with life , content with yourself, when you forgave those who have wronged you and forget the past . Once and for good ?

If you answered yes to any of it…. then it’s definitely a good time to dive deep into your own soul . Shadow work is an amazing tool to see who you truly are , but also to diminish the false beliefs you have had about yourself and everything that is close to you.

Anyway….. one thing. No actually there is few things I’m so very proud of myself ….

First of all I quit smoking, fast and I never would even think it would be this easy 😢

Second I have cut ties with so called family. I don’t like being used in someone else’s games etc so few people from my closest circle is out for good and no i dont regret it , I feel at peace when I don’t have that negative energy around me.

Third is deleting all social media, truly relived after deleting them . I don’t even know why I started to build them in the first place …. I mean I know but I’m kind of ashamed of my motives . I’m sure happier now when I don’t use any of them.

So there is more but , all that started to happen after I started shadow work , so for now on it will stay for my own knowing only.

I feel like minding my own business was the most beneficial thing in 2022.

More of it for this year and years to come xx

Honorata 😘 πŸ€—

Not that I care but …

Dating can be fun

Well if you have very low expectations or no expectations whatsoever is even funnier .

People think you a clown and take advantage of you

Everything changes however, when you start to respect yourself and don’t chase everyone who comes your way lol

Some people will even go as far as manipulating you into having Netflix and chill and of course making nothing of it . However the plan is well known and simple.

Get that meat , use it and abuse it and then of course play hard to get and ghost poor soul, who now think you have a connection. No you dont ! You just chosen to have sex with random dude in hope of romantic relationship, but that’s something you read in books, in real life nobody is that romantic. We all fucked up to some extent and don’t know how to deal with our own feelings so we play it tough and hurt everyone including ourselves.

Then we lie a bit and play games… ha ha ha

Yeah I might be a little bit bitter .

No i wasn’t hurt by anyone recently, it’s just an experience from the past.

I do shadow work so pardon me . Of course you might not agree with me .

Not that I care . I truly don’t give a fuck.

At the end of the day . We self centred and only focused on our own needs .

Yes yes that’s how we are most of the time. You can’t make me think otherwise. I’m one of you .

Honorata

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius Part 2

Body , soul ,mind . To the body belong sense perceptions, to the soul impulses, to the mind judgements. The receipt of sense impressions is shared with wild beasts , with calamities, with a Phalaris or a Nero; having the mind as guide to what appears appropriate action is shared with those who do not believe in the gods, those who betray their country, those who get up to anything behind closed doors.

So if all else is held in common with the categories mentioned above, it follows that the defining characteristic of the good person is to love and embrace whatever happens to him along his thread of fate; and not to pollute the divinity which is seated within his breast, or trouble it with a welter of confused impressions, but to preserve its constant favour, in proper allegiance to god, saying only what is true, doing only what is just.

And I all people mistrust him ,for living a simple, decent ,and cheerful life, he has bo quarrel with any of them, and no diversion from the road which leads to the final goal of his life: to this he must come pure, at peace ,ready to depart, in unforced harmony with his fate.

Marcus Aurelius Meditations 3.16

Honorata.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Do you want the praise of a man who curses himself three times an hour ?

Do you want to please a man who can’t please himself?

Can a man please himself when he regrets almost everything he does ?

Marcus Aurelius. Meditations 8 .53

Honorata .

Emphat 14:14

Lately I started to think , if going through spiritual journey is really a blessing or a curse in today’s world .

Don’t get me wrong . I feel that I had it much easier while I didn’t care , while I did not understand, when I could pity myself, be a victim etc etc.

However now , them things don’t come easy if they show up at all . Yes I get mad , I have some stupid arguments , mainly with myself or others in my head … but it doesn’t stay long like it used to be .

You might think , what ? Is that bad ? Well , maybe it’s not bad , but surely it makes you not so relatable … and it hurts ,especially when you can hardly relate with the people you had some sort of connection in the past , family etc .

Before if someone did me wrong , I’d be moody ass B …. speak a lot of crap ,even if it meant to hurt someone deeply. Now I feel like them feelings , don’t arise at all . Most of the time Im like , okay I see , well I hope you well. And I don’t even hold grudges.

I feel sorry for the person who “hurt me ” well is it because i finally understand that nobody can really hurt me ? Only the way I perceived things were hurting me ? I really hope it’s that .

Such a long way to go , so many things to understand, the more you try to understand, the less you feel like a human . The ego is not as loud which is beautiful but also scary .

At times the way I feel makes me wonder if I’m not too naive, yet I also see that my intuition is stronger than ever . I can sense someone’s intentions without any problems now , i make clear boundaries and speak what’s on my mind , that is something I struggled with in the past .

I know my worth , what I bring to the table and I’m definitely not afraid of eating alone . I don’t feel like I need to chase anything anymore. Material possession never impressed me even in the past , but now the only thing which makes me passionate and excited is the other open human being , open and healing , someone i can exchange experiences. And nothing else matter .

Superficial relationships .That’s something I don’t want to be close to . Not my cup of tea.

If you ever wondered,Β  if it’s worth like i do . Well i don’t have one answer because it’s hard at times , but it teaches you different values and hope to heal your soul.

Love H