Lesson 3 A.C.I.M Workbook

I do not understand anything I see in this room[on this street, from this window, in this place].

  1. Apply this idea in the same way as the previous ones, without making distinctions of any kind. Whatever you see becomes a proper subject for applying the idea. Be sure that you do not question the suitability of anything for application of the idea. These are not exercises in judgement. Anything is suitable if you see it. Some of the things you see may have emotionally charged meaning for you. Try to lay such feeling aside, and merely use these things exactly as you would anything else.
  2. The point of this exercise is to help you clear your mind of all past associations, to see things exactly as they appear to you now, and realise how little you really understand about them. It is therefore essential that you keep a perfectly open mind, unhampered by judgement, in selecting the things to which the idea for the day is to be applied. For this purpose one thing is like another; equally suitable and therefore equally useful.

Healing

Welcome back dear fellow bloggers and anyone who will come across this post.

It has been truly a long and bumpy ride , I have taken myself on , but with true honesty it has been the best thing that could have ever happen to me .

As I have mentioned in the last post , I have found my person … I am still quite shocked how in a such a short period , you can become so close to another human being , how everything can change literally overnight, but more about this maybe another time as today I have something else id love to write about and hopefully ,gain some more insight of what you think and how you see the stuff which I am going to elaborate on in this post .

So lets start from the beginning

I have been in few relationships myself , I cant tell that they were bad , they certainly were in my life for a reason , sometimes them reasons don’t seem too obvious for us and usually it is because , we don’t see ourselves exactly as we are . Quite often we are portraying ourselves as someone we want to be , however yet we are not .

Not to say it is right or wrong , obviously it is a matter of discussion and/or opinion ,which we all tend to have and which of course will differ ,depending on our life experience and how much we are allowing to heal our mind, body and soul , but let me introduce you to the ways I seen relationships as . Yes ways , because just two months ago I have had a completely different outlook on what being in a relationship is to what I think I feel now .

First comes the child , you know , the one who throw a tantrum every single time something doesn’t go its way ? yeah it was me , in the past ,why was that happening ? why was I so triggered by simple things , and by simple I really mean basics , for example when someone would not reply to me in the rightly manner (right only for me of course ) I would go mad , trust me , pure madness and I cant even blame this child (myself) for doing so , because I truly was acting out my childhood trauma , I wanted to feel heard and seen and all of that what child needs from their parents , yet how often it wasn’t reciprocated in my case. Of course I see where I went south and hurt not once but hundred of times someone I genuinely cared for , but the instinct of survival and proving myself that I am worth the time ,was so strong and clearly at the begging I haven’t seen it as an issue , if I have to be totally honest .

Some or rather all of my behaviours were very automatic , I knew I’m going insane ,in literal way but I thought it is normal way to express yourself and to simply get the things you want , while in all honesty it never worked quiet well for me , I would rather feel even more abandoned and lost than before but I never understood why it is happening.

Now comes the question , How important it is to heal your inner child before entering relationship?

The answer will not be linear ,just like the healing is not but I believe it is of huge importance , healing has completely changed the way i look at the relationship I have now and on the ones from the past .

Of course as you start the healing , you realise why you have been choosing people who would trigger you and offer you less than bare minimum as it is all rotted deep inside of us ,and sooner or later everyone will choose to heal ,so they can fully accept who they are and what they want from life .

So often we think love hurts , so we choose the hurtful experiences and partners who don’t seem to meet any of our needs , we try to give a lot in hope that we will be wanted , where in fact this behaviour has quite the opposite effect…

How often did you over give to someone who should get nothing out of you ?

How often did you blamed yourself for not being worthy of the love and affection of someone , who seemed like the love of your life ?

I believe we tend to delude ourselves with thinking , that we can change someone , where in fact the only person you should focus on changing is yourself , so you know and remember who you truly are , so you don’t settle for less than you deserve , so you don’t chase unfulfilling relationships, so you don’t get into relationship because you feel lonely .

Knowing who you truly are is a blessing and thankfully more people start to realise the importance of self love and self care , I dream of a world where people are as loving ,true and honest ,and stop putting the appearances of someone they are not …

To be continued ….

Honorata

Thursday Though

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I have finished writing my book and as soon as that has happened, I realised that this book is just short cut of the story . I tried to hide most of the things and basically make it seem like it was all good and there is actually nothing wrong with what has happened etc .

There was so many eye opening things, and the fact that I was trying to hide it , is even worse . I don’t plan to publish this version as it’s definitely not the story I’d like people to see. I want it to be raw and real , and exactly as it was , the the stuff that has happened and the issues, childhood trauma etc .

The book will be posted under pen name, i dont want to make anyone’s life hard whatsoever. I just want to put it out there without filter.

For others to know , they not alone . That society is what it is . For others to realise that everyone can heal as long as there is a will to do it. That life is not happening against us . It teaches us everyday, and it is up from us, whether we will learn the lesson on the first time or maybe we will have to go through the same stuff 20 times during our life .

Hope you all have a wonderful day 😊

How not to get mad

My Friend Antonio has send me this beautiful photo πŸ“Έ

I did what I said . ! I wanted to rest and I did , nevermind that I felt terrible

I need to be more clear about what they heck i want . Just now ! Like now ! And it’s 9pm I got rid of the headache which was here since Friday 😫

But there is one thing I’m proud of … I managed not to take any painkillers, it would be just a waste as for me the kind of headache I had , never goes away with painkillers, it has to pass on its own or with a little bit of yoga.

So thank God I’m functioning again as I need to tailor my son’s school trousers as probably some of you are aware , school is back on tomorrow πŸ™Œ

And so work life is back , but that’s something I’m not resenting anymore, because I truly love what I do !

Have a lovely night and so much love ❀️

Honorata

How to live a happy life

Stay Present

Theoretically , we all know what it means, however in reality it is very hard thing to accomplish for most of us , we are always thrown into thinking of the past or future , leaving little to no room for the present moment.

For many of us , there is always something better to focus on and think about than the moment we are currently experiencing . Yet , once we start diving into the present moment , and we let ourselves enjoy it, it becomes clear how much we reject ourselves and our needs, how we don’t appreciate the things we should be grateful for .

Finally when we have time to be present , we start to see everything differently . We start to see ourselves differently , we notice how we feel , how we react to everything around us, we notice how we neglected our need to feel and see even the smallest , the least noticeable things, now all of the sudden the touch which didn’t mean anything , has a different feel , words spoken are heard like a sweet melody, even simple cooking , becomes a relaxing practice and not a chore .

So I think the first and most important part to be happy in life is to become present as often as possible.

To do so , we simply must practice being Present , and with time and practice , we will become better at enjoying the present moment .

Don’t Judge Yourself

Well this one , clear as a day , will be probably the hard pill to swallow for anyone , because even when we fight against others to defend our opinion ,while we know that we are in the wrong , after the situation come to an end , we are left alone and we go back to the arguments or conversations we had , and we start to analyse everything we said and done , and then we relive the situation again , only this time we are hard on ourselves , not on others.

The process of judging starts and we are able to put ourselves under the biggest fire and speak very badly of our own self . That’s not something anyone should do , we should rather practice the opposite, which in that case would be , understanding ourselves ,seeing human being, in our own reflection , and try to make peace with whatever has happened , and what most important, move past it forgive and forget if that’s necessary for you to feel at peace .

We are all making silly decisions , and mistakes which we might regret at a later time but we all should understand that , that’s how life rules , we must learn and live and remember that it really isn’t that serious , we just make it be so we can feel like a victim . I know many would not agree but that’s not my concern as I have been overcoming this myself , and even though I understand a lot , I still need to look at myself from the 3rd person perspective and think how does it make me feel.

Anytime I feel it burden me or give me any sort of anxiety or ill feeling , I know I should look deeper and look for the answers within and not judge myself , because I definitely don’t see everything , especially when I’m furious ,angry or fearful , and the last one has been holding me back a lot for all those years , just now I know I was programmed to feel fear at any time , not exploring possibilities, not going for what wanted , settling for the less . That’s nobody’s best interest in life .

We are so scared of the death , yet we are walking through life as we already are on the other side . What’s the purpose of life , if we are scared to live and take any kind of risk .

Of course there is much more to it but that in the next post xoxo

Honorata

How important it is to have a routine in our daily life?

Well I will be speaking mainly about the spiritual routine, as from experience I can tell that before it was nowhere to be found , and the road to understanding and change, seemed like impossibility .

Now however, I have a strong routine, which is followed by me every single day, and I already can see ,despite it being only 30 days , how life changing and eye opening it is.

When you learn , and do things for your own good day by day, you see how important it actually is for your own sake.

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I see many people calling themselves lazy or unmotivated etc but is it really that? I think, it’s not really the case .

The main problem with setting a routine for ourselves, whether it is daily life or spiritual or basically anything, is the fact that we have strong opposite beliefs regarding our ability and worthiness and deserving all what it can bring .

So I think what’s the most important at the beginning, is to start small , don’t put a lot on yourself , don’t judge yourself and do the best you can , and as many of you probably have read Four Agreements , you know that our best will vary at all times .

So take it slow and start today . Even if its something you might take as not such a life changing decision. That’s how you create the life , you want to live .

Peace and love x Honorata

First of all…..

Have you ever wondered how it would be to live a life , where you are truly happy with life , content with yourself, when you forgave those who have wronged you and forget the past . Once and for good ?

If you answered yes to any of it…. then it’s definitely a good time to dive deep into your own soul . Shadow work is an amazing tool to see who you truly are , but also to diminish the false beliefs you have had about yourself and everything that is close to you.

Anyway….. one thing. No actually there is few things I’m so very proud of myself ….

First of all I quit smoking, fast and I never would even think it would be this easy 😢

Second I have cut ties with so called family. I don’t like being used in someone else’s games etc so few people from my closest circle is out for good and no i dont regret it , I feel at peace when I don’t have that negative energy around me.

Third is deleting all social media, truly relived after deleting them . I don’t even know why I started to build them in the first place …. I mean I know but I’m kind of ashamed of my motives . I’m sure happier now when I don’t use any of them.

So there is more but , all that started to happen after I started shadow work , so for now on it will stay for my own knowing only.

I feel like minding my own business was the most beneficial thing in 2022.

More of it for this year and years to come xx

Honorata 😘 πŸ€—

Self Concept Affirmations to Use Daily !

Me 😬
  • I am a special person. There’s nobody else like me.
  • I love myself.
  • I love myself more and more each day.
  • I am worthy of love.
  • I am worthy of happiness.
  • I am worthy of success.
  • I deserve to be paid well for my skills.
  • I am supported in all I do in life.
  • I have the power to create the life I want.
  • I am beautiful, intelligent, fun, and full of life.
  • I am a successful and happy person.
  • People value my work, my time, and my love.
  • I believe in myself
  • I am surrounded by grace and positivity.
  • Nothing can stop me from achieving my dreams.
  • People want to hear my thoughts and opinions. My voice is important.
  • I am enough.
  • I am perfect just the way I am.
  • I respect myself, and others appreciate me.
  • I am the priority
  • I believe in myself
  • I trust myself
  • I always know what to do
  • I make right choices
  • Everything and everyone prosper me now

Honorata xoxo

Tiredness kill the joy

I was this close 🀏 to not post anything today .

But then i thought i will regret it tomorrow, so here I’m. I have nothing interesting to say apart from the fact that lack of sleep is getting the best of me !

So many things has been going on and I want to write it all properly, and I promise I will do it tomorrow ,after I get some proper sleep 😴

Let me tell you one thing .

Life goes crazy when you start to believe in magic 🎩

Everything is happening so fast .

I love it but tiredness is taking some of the joy away ….

Love H .

Retrograde

I really wish i could write something proper or encouraging today but honestly, I have been feeling like a little piece of S*** today .

Emotions running WILD ! I MEAN WILD AS HECK !

One second I’m happy and another I’m sad , then again I question everything i have ever done .

Just to talk myself out of it and to be understanding… just TO ! Blame myself for everything again.

I really dont know which planet is f with me right now but honestly I don’t like that.

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the car after work did help me for few minutes…

Something ain’t right with this for sure . I’m literally so sick and tired of myself today .

I know how important it is to feel your emotions, but I’m not even in the slightest sure , why all of the sudden its all coming up at me . Like everything at once !

There is one hope however. In times like this I just love to disappear. I said it’s a hope , but Is it really? Running away and not dealing with everything around me … I guess it’s a bad idea .

I don’t wanna go round in circles and repeat same things over and over .

I’m literally so fed up with myself i could sell myself a punch in the face .

Well that idea actually made me giggle so maybe that’s something I should consider πŸ˜‚

I really hope you dealing well and stay happy 🀍

A bad day is not the end of the world. But it can be end of my sanity 😬 ( JK)

Love H .