Healing

Welcome back dear fellow bloggers and anyone who will come across this post.

It has been truly a long and bumpy ride , I have taken myself on , but with true honesty it has been the best thing that could have ever happen to me .

As I have mentioned in the last post , I have found my person … I am still quite shocked how in a such a short period , you can become so close to another human being , how everything can change literally overnight, but more about this maybe another time as today I have something else id love to write about and hopefully ,gain some more insight of what you think and how you see the stuff which I am going to elaborate on in this post .

So lets start from the beginning

I have been in few relationships myself , I cant tell that they were bad , they certainly were in my life for a reason , sometimes them reasons don’t seem too obvious for us and usually it is because , we don’t see ourselves exactly as we are . Quite often we are portraying ourselves as someone we want to be , however yet we are not .

Not to say it is right or wrong , obviously it is a matter of discussion and/or opinion ,which we all tend to have and which of course will differ ,depending on our life experience and how much we are allowing to heal our mind, body and soul , but let me introduce you to the ways I seen relationships as . Yes ways , because just two months ago I have had a completely different outlook on what being in a relationship is to what I think I feel now .

First comes the child , you know , the one who throw a tantrum every single time something doesn’t go its way ? yeah it was me , in the past ,why was that happening ? why was I so triggered by simple things , and by simple I really mean basics , for example when someone would not reply to me in the rightly manner (right only for me of course ) I would go mad , trust me , pure madness and I cant even blame this child (myself) for doing so , because I truly was acting out my childhood trauma , I wanted to feel heard and seen and all of that what child needs from their parents , yet how often it wasn’t reciprocated in my case. Of course I see where I went south and hurt not once but hundred of times someone I genuinely cared for , but the instinct of survival and proving myself that I am worth the time ,was so strong and clearly at the begging I haven’t seen it as an issue , if I have to be totally honest .

Some or rather all of my behaviours were very automatic , I knew I’m going insane ,in literal way but I thought it is normal way to express yourself and to simply get the things you want , while in all honesty it never worked quiet well for me , I would rather feel even more abandoned and lost than before but I never understood why it is happening.

Now comes the question , How important it is to heal your inner child before entering relationship?

The answer will not be linear ,just like the healing is not but I believe it is of huge importance , healing has completely changed the way i look at the relationship I have now and on the ones from the past .

Of course as you start the healing , you realise why you have been choosing people who would trigger you and offer you less than bare minimum as it is all rotted deep inside of us ,and sooner or later everyone will choose to heal ,so they can fully accept who they are and what they want from life .

So often we think love hurts , so we choose the hurtful experiences and partners who don’t seem to meet any of our needs , we try to give a lot in hope that we will be wanted , where in fact this behaviour has quite the opposite effect…

How often did you over give to someone who should get nothing out of you ?

How often did you blamed yourself for not being worthy of the love and affection of someone , who seemed like the love of your life ?

I believe we tend to delude ourselves with thinking , that we can change someone , where in fact the only person you should focus on changing is yourself , so you know and remember who you truly are , so you don’t settle for less than you deserve , so you don’t chase unfulfilling relationships, so you don’t get into relationship because you feel lonely .

Knowing who you truly are is a blessing and thankfully more people start to realise the importance of self love and self care , I dream of a world where people are as loving ,true and honest ,and stop putting the appearances of someone they are not …

To be continued ….

Honorata

Sunday

Sunday Good Morning πŸ™

I am still in bed , I woke up early , probably before 8am (if that counts as early)

I have watched some YouTube video which was an hr long and after that I read the book I study now .

Today I have chosen to Fast . I feel like my body need it so much !

The fasting is from food only , I’ll still drink water and green tea etc

I have let myself have a little feast for the last 3 days due to some celebrations and now I feel so heavy , not weight wise but mentally heavy that fasting is the only way I can feel light mentally and physically πŸͺ΄πŸ’«

I have ended the yt videos phase as probably most of you can notice, I always try to do what I’m lead to , and now I’m lead to 2 weeks break, so I can fully focus on studying the book I currently read .

Since the beginning of the May till now , there was so many changes within me ,that I sometimes find it hard to believe when I see my past self . Not that I resent her or anything , but seeing clearly how did I perceived everything, makes me wonder , and makes me be so grateful for the development I have achieved with the help of amazing people I met on my journey. Most of which are online but that does not take away the importance of their lessons to me .

I only wish love and peace upon all of you and I know this is meant for all of us .

Love Honorata x

Look Beyond The Body πŸ‘€

There is so much more to a person. Than the frame , the body we see and how they show themselves . What they promise and how they love us .

How they speak and behave when we start to get to know them . It is not about judgement and seeing wrong in people, but rather seeing your own patterns , and cutting away everything that doesn’t serve your highest good. Cutting i don’t mean ,judging them ,hating them and cursing them , just accept what you can’t change and don’t judge anyone , neither yourself

Having highs with someone is not healthy, having rough bed experience and calling it something we actually enjoy is rather self destructive. We are looking for pain because we find a pleasure in the pain , instead of being nurturing and having intimate experiences , by intimate I mean more of being vulnerable and opening your heart to the other person and not necessarily “legs” .

There is so many broken people, who think they miss something outside of them , who cherish other person above themselves, and see them as someone special and better. While we are all equal .

I understand and I know it’s a challenge for many people to just even believe that they can change something in their life , but all it takes is taking a chance on you this time and not putting yourself below anyone ,just being equal . I think it will build up very healthy relationship with yourself, as you will be able to see how much you deserve everything your soul crave so much .

One thing also comes to my mind , we often will pretend that we are healing and we need time etc and then we will entertain other things instead of working on the issues we have within us. The longer it will take for us to understand, where we stand and with what we are dealing when we focus on the unwanted , on the stuff which hurt us and make us feel like a victim to our own made circumstances.

I am just like you and We all deserve the love , peace, abundance and joy. We can achieve it ,because at the end the day it is all within us. Nobody can either take it or give it to you ,but yourself.

Is nice to be important but is more important to be nice Michael Mirdad

A Course In Miracles

Hello everyone πŸ€—

How are you doing this week? I hope everything is working out well for you x

I have been focusing on myself quite a lot and thr journey I have decided to take myself on is intriguing and it makes me truly at peace .

I have started reading A Course In Miracles and so today’s video is a little bit from the book .

I wish you all a wonderful Tuesday ❀️ πŸ™ ✨️

Seize The Day β€οΈ

It has been truly wonderful day , sometimes you don’t expect such “small” things to make a difference, yet they do and I think it’s beautiful 😊

Here is a photo of me and my niece 😊

Sucha sweetheart πŸ’• πŸ’– β™₯️

Karma

Happy Saturday to everyone 🀎

Today I have decided to read a little bit about karma . Im sure someone will find it useful as much as I do in those times , where I seek deeper understanding of what is and what isn’t.

I wish you all a wonderful Saturday and loads of love and peace πŸ’“

Honorata xoxo

Importance

Hello my dear fellow bloggers πŸ’‹

It has been few days since I actually posted anything other than ,video posts and I feel like I should be focusing a little bit more on blog posts itself and try to at least share , what I have been learning about, in the past weeks.

Sometimes I think , nothing can actually make me wonder and nothing can shock me .

And there comes something that shake everything I believed in . In a positive manner but still .

Video down below πŸ˜„ as I said I’ll do a whole month and so I will deliver for the sake of my own learning process and anyone who might find it useful πŸ’«

Love and light ✨️

Hold tight or let go ?

Good morning everyone πŸ’«

Why it’s hard to let go of someone , is it because we love that person so much or maybe we fear the idea of being abandoned by them ?

After some long time , some of us will get to the point where you will feel like you were neglecting yourself, while chasing the love of someone else. Their love isn’t more important, their love isn’t better than what you can give yourself.

In fact you not allowing yourself to let go , makes it triple as strong and necessary as it actually is .

We do need love and we are love. We are not in position and we never should beg anyone for love . Who are we ,how much we don’t feel worth of being loved , to actually beg someone ,and be with someone who doesn’t seem to bother about us at all.

One sided love is pain, then we hear people say that love is pain , while love isn’t pain , our choices are painful, because if we would truly work on and love ourselves, we won’t allow them situations to happen and we would choose someone who is choosing us .

Honorata

May 1st – First Video .

Hello beautiful πŸ’« as I promised I recorded a video , it is very short indeed but its the first one as since I really had no time to do more , I felt like I was taken by surprise that today is already May 1st.

Let me tell you something… times flies when you enjoy your life .

πŸ’«

Tomorrow I’ll do my best to post longer one and actually to talk more about the things which are important for me and you hopefully. Xoxo

Girl pose 
Spiritual girl
Spirituality 
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Blonde girl